The imaginary bumper  sticker says:
 
 ALEMBIC: All others are mere baseball bats.

ALEMBIC: After playing one, everything else is anti-climactic.
 
ALEMBIC: All others seem like 2x4s.
 
ALEMBIC: You could play something else, but why?

I would like a bumper sticker with just a simple Alembic logo.  Those who know would know, and those who wouldn't wouldn't...
John the Alembic snob

Exactly my word, John.

Guys, Alembic has a cafepress store full of logo-branded gear.  While there isn't a bumper sticker currently in the alembicstuff catalog, I'm sure Mica would be up for adding it, if there was enough interest.
 
Alembic's CafePress Goodie Shop

I really want an embroidered ballcap.  A really high quality one (as befits the logo).
 
I didn't see one on the cafepress site.  My experience has been that cafepress isn't always the best in terms of quality.
 
Brad