How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  
 
I, V, I, V...

Deep in Jungle, black africa XIXth century, the british explorator is worried about the unkown that lies ahead when misterious drums start to sound apparently caming from nowhere.
 
- What is that?
- Calm down, Buana. This is just the dreadfull head hunters announcing our presence...
 
So the trip went on deeper and deeper, disturbed just by the drums growing louder and louder (and the white guy getting even more frightened as the days went by). After a week he was getting mad:
 
- Isn't it dangerous? The drums seems closer each minute!
- Calm down, Buana! Keep quiet and don't complain about the Drum Solo...
- WHY? WHY?
 
- Because, if drums stops, the Bass will solo then!

A bear and a rabbit were both taking a crap in the woods.  The bear turned to the rabbit and says,  
 
You ever have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?
 
Rabbit says Nope.  Never had that problem.
 
So the bear wiped his butt with the rabbit.

Hear the one about the drummer that locked his keys in his car?  Took him an hour and a half to get his family out.

How many Zen Buddhist does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 
 
Two:
 
One to screw in the light bulb.
 
and one to not screw in the light bulb.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. As the bar tender is filling the mug the man ask the bar tender, ?You know how many bass players it takes to change a light bulb?? To which the bar tender (who stands about 6?4? and weighs about 220 lbs) replies, before you tell that joke you need to know I?m, a bass player. And you see those 2 guys over there, pointing to huge men bigger than the bartender, they both play bass also. Now do you still want to tell that joke? To which the man responds, ?NO?. The bartender says, ?I thought not? The man says, if I?m going to have to explain it three times it?s not worth the hassle.  
 
OO

How many luthiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 
Just one, but you have to wait six months.
 
Bil, tgo

SIX MONTHS?!............ Must be a rush order.  
 
OO

How do you get a bass player to slow down and play quietly?
Put sheet music in front of him!
 
How do you get a bass player to completely stop playing?
Put notes on the sheet music!
 
What does it mean when drool is coming out of both side of the drummers mouth?
The stage is level!
 
 
Why are most musician jokes one liners?
So guitar players can understand them!
 
I play guitar...oh is it medication time already?

I wonder how many Alembics are owned by we club members as a group?

Good question. I can account for 5.
 
OO

Four here

My wife would answer Too many!
 
Bill, tgo

Soon to be 12. But what's in a number?

We did this once in a thread a few years ago.  I can't remember what we came up with, so I guess it's worth doing again.  
 
Add my two in there.