How About a Humor Thread?

[garyhead]

A Classic.

[bigredbass]

Old guy walks out on his porch early one morning on the farm, and tells his old hound to get up, let's go.  Dog just lays there, doesn't even raise an eye to him.  Tells him again, nudges him with his foot, nothing.  Now he's worried.

Calls the vet, who tells him he just happens to be heading out that way to check on a horse, he'll stop by.

Vet gets there, walks up on the porch, doesn't like what he's seeing.  Tells the Old guy he can run a quick test.

Goes out to the car where he has a big yellow tomcat in a carrier.  Reaches in, grabs the tabby by the scruff of the neck and they walk back up on the porch.  Bends over, holds the now hissing and squirming cat right in the dog's face.  Nothing.  'I'm sorry, he's gone.'  Puts the cat back in the car.

Old guy says he hates to lose him, but thanks the vet and asks him how much he owes him.

'525 dollars.'

'WHAT???  How on EARTH do I owe you $525?'

'Well, the House Call is $25, and the Cat Scan is $500.'

[lbpesq]

Just to make sure, the Vet again went to his car, soon returning with a Retriever on a leash.  He brought his dog up to the farmer's hound, allowing the Retriever to sniff the hound.  The Vet then brought his dog back to the car, returned, and told the farmer, "that will be another $250 for the Lab report!"


... rim shot ...


Bill, tgo

[lbpesq]

Red Alert, Red Alert!

[garyhead]

This just in.....

[cozmik_cowboy]

We have nothing to fear but Chuck himself!


Peter

[cozmik_cowboy]

How touching....


Peter

[lbpesq]

This just in.....

Actually, unless it's an exceptionally hot day, if you drop a lit cigarette into a puddle of gasoline, the cigarette will go out.

Bill, tgo

[lbpesq]

Hey, it's about music!

[cozmik_cowboy]

Yeah, I also sent this to my sister (who gets lost in our hometown of 800 people) and my beloved (who makes my sister look like Magellan.......).


Peter

[sonicus]

I can relate .As my father navigated the oceans professionally by old school standard as per the stars , yet his son has a bereft sense of direction like a dog who chases his own tail in circles .

[cozmik_cowboy]

What do you say to a bass player in a suit?

"The defendant will please rise."

Peter

[sonicus]

Alas! 'Tis a pity,as such alignment of astral bodies shalt impede mine efforts of success, of the paramount endeavour at the doorsteps of existential demise. Such a warning decreed to I must comply ,in dire seriousness.I shall shelter and await the new Moon . Mine intuition I must trust  .Therefore I shall not exit mine proven safe abode till the next Full Moon💚.

[garyhead]

Now I need to play Pink Floyd.

[lbpesq]

Stay in school!