Here's a good one:
 
As Christmas is almost upon us here is one of my  favorite cookie recipes.  
Enjoy.  
 
Christmas Cookie Recipe  
 
1 cup  of water  
1 tsp. baking soda  
1 cup of sugar  
1 tsp. salt  
1 cup of  brown sugar  
lemon juice  
4 large eggs  
1 cup nuts  
2 cups of dried  fruit  
1 bottle Crown Royal (Whiskey)
 
1- Sample the Crown Royal to check  quality.  
 
2- Take a large bowl, check the Crown Royal again, to be sure it  is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.  
 
3- Turn on the  electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  
 
4- Add  one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.  
 
At this point it's best to make sure  the Crown Royal is still OK, try another cup.. just in case.  
 
5- Turn off  the mixer thingy.  
 
6- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the  cup of dried fruit.  
 
7- Pick the frigging fruit off floor...  
 
8- Mix  on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose  with a dewscriver.  
 
Sample the Crown Royal to check for  tonsisticity.  
 
9- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.... who  giveshz a heet.  
 
10- Check the Crown Royal.  
 
11- Now shift the lemon  juice and strain your nuts.  
 
12- Add one table.  
 
13- Add a spoon of  ar, or somefink.... whatever you can find.  
 
14- Greash the  oven.  
 
15- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't  forget to beat off the turner.  
 
16- Finally, throw the bowl through the  window.  
 
17- Finish the bottle of Crown Royal.  
 
18- Make sure to put  the stove in the dishwasher.  
 
 
Cherry Mistmas
 
 
Rami

ROFL!!!

Thanks, I really needed a good laugh.
Rich

Holy Sh**!!!!!  I can't stop laughing!!!
 
Cleaning up my laptop again (see Bills FTC thread) - this time wine.
 
Thanks Rami!

Thank you, Rami - I truly can't remember the last time I read anything quite that funny.  Two pieces of kleenex, tears running down my face... I knew where it was going by the end of the ingredient list, but still wasn't prepared.
 
Got any more recipes?

Cice nookie recipe...

Rami:
 
I don't have a window in my kitchen that opens.  Will the cookies come out as good if I just chuck the bowl across the living room?  And will the recipe still work if I substitute Glenlivet for the Crown Royal?
 
Bill, tgo

Olie:
 
That is definitely NOT a nookie recipe!  LOL
 
Bill, tgo

It is if your wife makes the cookies!

If you're buying Alembics, then try Mcallanan's 25 year old single malt scotch.  Why be cheap with your spirit?  Merry Christman (or Channumas as us of the Jewish persuasion refer to it as).

I was already stretching my budget recently when purchasing a bottle of Highland Park 12 yr old. Nice. Cookies, who needs them?

Macallan's 25 year old [drool].  Good stuff.  I remember when I found a bottle mis-marked in Madison WI, only $100.
 
Some other recommendations: Lagavilin 16 year old; Laphroig 30 year old cask strength, Lagavulin 14 year old cask strength (if you can get it) (you can't), Bushmills 25 year old Single Malt ($$$$$ if you can find it).
 
fmm

And don't forget Sheep Dip!
 
Bill, tgo

Is this the first whisky hijack?  I'm thinking the Crown Royal is because Rami is Canadian.  We do have lots of Scottish members but I can't think of any from N. Ireland, Bushmills country.  But then Bushmills isn't whisky but whiskey and rated Good Stuff on the Bracheen scale.
 
Sam

Nice recipe, but I'll start my Christmas day with a nice succulent Hippie Sandwich. :-)
 
Happy Christmas to all and best wishes for the new year.
 
Jazzyvee